Clutching at the steering wheel

It’s been a year of big changes in our household- well, not so much a year but all in the space of month. New house, new job. Good things. Having to adjust the completion date of your masters degree- bad thing. Well so I thought at the time. Maybe growing up and looking back over the past year taught me that things which may have seemed really bad at the time are just subtle ways of learning to be patient. I grew up achieving most things at school that I set my mind to within a set time frame - a mindset that is being challenged more and more frequently in my young adult life.

Going back to varsity, writing exams and handing in assignments on a regular basis all took on a slightly different format in the context of a full time career. I realise now how self-orientated we are, of not selfish, in our pursuit of schooling. I was one of those lucky enough to live at home and have my parents provide for all my needs. They were so keen for me to focus on my studies that I was encouraged NOT to get a job so that I could focus on my studies. Privileged, spoilt, protected from the real world.

So studying while working and running a home makes you realise that cars do breakdown, electricity fails, computers play up, children get sick, toilets leak and at times your family needs you more than you need time in front of yet another literature study. A distinction is more an indication of how much time you were able to spare on a certain task rather than how well you understand the topic. And anything over 75% is just an impossibility in the context of sanity.

I am so grateful for the blessings showered on our family over the past year. We have a lovely new home, and my husband’s new job means that we are able to afford a few luxuries that we have been budgeting to live without. I have learnt that spending time with family is far more important than how long it takes to hand in a thesis. I have learnt that the frustration of taking a little longer might mean handing in a superior product, albeit begrudgingly. I have learnt that you have to believe in your power and abilities in order to market yourself and your product effectively. And I have learnt that plotting out my expected timeline requires a lot less planning on my part, and a lot more trusting in God’s divine plan. You see, the past week has included many moments of looking towards the end of 2012. What I have come to realise is that I don’t know whether I’ll be in India or Japan or South Africa in December. I don’t know whether I’ll be looking after someone else’s children or adopting or waiting for one of my own. I do know that I will have completed my degree. And I do know is that it’s up to me to make myself available for the opportunities that might cross my path in one year.