A year on...in-one-year

In March it will be a year since I started this blog. For those who are new to it (and a reminder to the old) I started the blog after we moved to a different country and continent. Life as we knew it had changed so much and it was quite often overwhelming adjusting to a new life. The blog was a way of sharing stories, some my own and some of friends who have experienced something that made them STOP and think about an event that allowed them change who they are or the way they viewed life.

Some wrote about humbling journeys, some wrote about taking a leap and starting a new chapter and some wrote about small moments of clarity that lead to big moments of change. To all who contributed, thank you for sharing with everyone out there...

For me 2011 was a a year filled with many great moments but the times between 'greatness' were difficult with one clear message that I needed to learn. I needed to learn to let go of so many ideas in my mind of how life should be and my relationships needed to be. And the more I thought about my inability to 'let go' the more I realised how much frustration it caused me.

So, 2011 was the year of acknowledging that there is a huge lesson for me to get through and 2012 is the year for getting through it...

Once again, I hope that the stories and thoughts shared will inspire others to reflect on the possibilites of what can happen in one year.

Clutching at the steering wheel

It’s been a year of big changes in our household- well, not so much a year but all in the space of month. New house, new job. Good things. Having to adjust the completion date of your masters degree- bad thing. Well so I thought at the time. Maybe growing up and looking back over the past year taught me that things which may have seemed really bad at the time are just subtle ways of learning to be patient. I grew up achieving most things at school that I set my mind to within a set time frame - a mindset that is being challenged more and more frequently in my young adult life.

Going back to varsity, writing exams and handing in assignments on a regular basis all took on a slightly different format in the context of a full time career. I realise now how self-orientated we are, of not selfish, in our pursuit of schooling. I was one of those lucky enough to live at home and have my parents provide for all my needs. They were so keen for me to focus on my studies that I was encouraged NOT to get a job so that I could focus on my studies. Privileged, spoilt, protected from the real world.

So studying while working and running a home makes you realise that cars do breakdown, electricity fails, computers play up, children get sick, toilets leak and at times your family needs you more than you need time in front of yet another literature study. A distinction is more an indication of how much time you were able to spare on a certain task rather than how well you understand the topic. And anything over 75% is just an impossibility in the context of sanity.

I am so grateful for the blessings showered on our family over the past year. We have a lovely new home, and my husband’s new job means that we are able to afford a few luxuries that we have been budgeting to live without. I have learnt that spending time with family is far more important than how long it takes to hand in a thesis. I have learnt that the frustration of taking a little longer might mean handing in a superior product, albeit begrudgingly. I have learnt that you have to believe in your power and abilities in order to market yourself and your product effectively. And I have learnt that plotting out my expected timeline requires a lot less planning on my part, and a lot more trusting in God’s divine plan. You see, the past week has included many moments of looking towards the end of 2012. What I have come to realise is that I don’t know whether I’ll be in India or Japan or South Africa in December. I don’t know whether I’ll be looking after someone else’s children or adopting or waiting for one of my own. I do know that I will have completed my degree. And I do know is that it’s up to me to make myself available for the opportunities that might cross my path in one year.

Count your Blessings

Life is hard. And life has no guarantees. Not a single day goes by without heartache in some shape or form. It’s so easy for us at times to lose sight of what is good . And even more so, to lose sight of the meaning of our lives and ultimately the meaning we add to the lives of others. The sadness in that is that we forget to count our blessings.
So much in life is taken for granted. We forget about each breath we take effortlessly without consciously having to fight for or cling to. We forget that there are those whose unconditional love and care is wrapped around us like a comforting blanket against the cold discontent of others around us. Do we ever stop to consider when our cups overflow in abundance that there are those who battle each and every day to make ends meet? Hardly do we spare a thought for those in a spaceof adversity who have to make sacrifices we could never imagine having to make ourselves.
Yet, not all is lost. For as long as we have hope, we have a better understanding of how blessed we really are. It’s the small and seemingly insignificant deeds and words which so often go unnoticed that ought to give and sustain hope. Hope fuels our spirit like a flaming torch burning brightly in the dark. It shines a light on so many things taken for granted, forgotten and obscured. It illuminates the faces of those who love, supports, guides and reminds us why we are blessed each and every single day.
So despite all your material and personal shortcomings, failings and envious gremlins lurking in the dark spaces of your heart, know that each day you awake to behold the glory of a new day, is a blessing freely given by the Creator. He has a purpose and plan for you. He has chosen you by grace and it’s for you to follow through!
Seek and count your blessings like lost treasures found and marvelled. Be a blessing!

Don't stop dreaming

In youth I turned to dreams to be

Vividly grand and encouraging me

In being the details of life are etched

And dreaming left behind with the original sketch

Such disfavour to the soul may be grave

In dreaming we have hope to be brave

For whatever life may seem

Inspiration can be found in many a dream

                                                              Reve

Learning for change

I am not interested in what you did this week. I want to know what you learnt this week. Because if you didn't learn anything, then you cannot grow or change. The same situations with the same lessons will be repeated in your life until you learn from them.

So if you wonder why that thing always happens to you, or why you always find yourself in same difficulties, then stop and ask yourself: What am I meant to be learning from this? What can I change (within myself) so that this doesn't happen again?

I hope this thought strikes you with as much force as it struck me today. May you always be learning and changing for the better. God bless.

Good timing

Today I had a lunch planned with a friend. I was regretting making the arrangement because it meant rushing to get there and then waiting around afterwards for another appointment. I almost cancelled it at the last minute.

But I didn't. Looking back on it, I am so glad I didn't cancel. In fact, I am pretty sure there was a hand in it, making sure I kept the lunch date. I hadn't seen this friend for a couple of weeks and just wanted to catch up. She really needed to talk. What she told me about what was going on in her life really shocked me. I was amazed that she was living through this and also that I hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary. I could see, as she spoke, that the reality was sinking in and she was realising for the first time how terrible the situation was. She had slipped into the horror without noticing and it was when she was verbalising it that it truly registered.

It was such a good thing we met up today with no time restraints. She needed to talk about what was going on and I perhaps didn't have all the answers but I gave her some advice and made her see the situation from the outside. Can you imagine how much worse it would have been if I had been selfish and cancelled, just so that I could sit at home for a couple of hours?

How often do we cancel or change plans or don't bother to pick up the phone? We justify our actions with comments like, I'm really tired and never have time for myself, or, She never contacts me, why should I bother? or, I'll get hold of her later, one day won't make a difference. How often have we maybe missed the opportunity to be a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear or a comforting arm?

There is a reason humans live in communities and it is the responsibility of every individual to be there, supporting the other. We are required to help each other, whether or not help is solicited.

So pick up the phone. Send the text. Contact someone you haven't heard from in a while. Don't make them feel bad for not keeping in touch but rather just make plans to get together. And when they talk, really listen. You never know what you're not hearing. You never know when that phone call will occur at the perfect time. You will never know if your voice is just the thing they needed to hear at that very moment.